Mindset : The New Psychology Of Success
If you can change your mindset, you can change your life. It took me a lot of time to understand this statement, and I do fail often, but I no longer live with the fixed mindset, I no longer give in easily, and I no longer fall prey to my own bubble, to my own comfort zone.
Our mindset grows with us. As we start growing we start observing as well. As we start observing, we start incorporating the habits of others. And then we get used to them. We get used to habits easily. As soon we wake up, we know the chain of events that is going to take place. First check phone, then brush teeth, have a bath, have breakfast, rush to the office or college. As we get to repeat it over and over again, they get embedded into our mind.
“The biggest wall you have to climb is the one you build in your mind: Never let your mind talk you out of your dreams, trick you into giving up. Never let your mind become the greatest obstacle to success. To get your mind on the right track, the rest will follow.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Have you ever seen people who are always excited to learn something new every day. While on the other hand, there are people who limit themselves. There are two different types of clashing mindsets : One is fixed, and another one is growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are limited and cannot be changed, and it’s a permanent part of their lives.
People with a growth mindset think otherwise. According to the growth mindset, your qualities aren’t limited. You can always grow through experience even if you weren’t born with these innate abilities. This mindset doesn’t limit a person’s growth and always provides scope for improvement.
ABOUT YOUR WORTH
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955–1967
As there are two different mindsets, the judgement of both towards their own worth will be different as well.
When we are little, our parents used to motivate us to do everything. From waking us up, sending us to school with our favourite lunch, making us do homework in the hope of letting us play and all the other activities we did just for the promised reward. The reward system was really good and intact. As we become adults, does this reward system still exist? Yes, it does. We just replace it with validation.
The ones with the fixed mindset are at a loss, their worth being attached to the validation they get from others. People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, focus on learning more and more irrespective of the source. They tend to avoid pre-judgement and focus on improving day by day.
“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are — what others say is irrelevant.”
― Nic Sheff
I used to avoid validation but eventually I realized that’s what we end up seeking. It could be because of upbringing, the environment, friends, or even classmates. The important step to be able to solve the problem and move towards the growth mindset is to identify the problem first. Only then, you will be able to consciously be able to identify it by yourself.
You might have put yourself into the category of fixed or growth mindset and even identified the areas you need to work on. But here’s the thing, you don’t need to categorize yourself.Once you start consciously identifying the problem, all there is left is to develop yourself. How do you develop yourself? By learning.
There goes a saying that you can even learn from animals. It sure is true. Similarly, we need to learn from everyone to indulge more into the growth mindset. The most effective way to do that is to eradicate prejudice. Prejudice kills the possibility of learning from the smallest of things and using it to grow our mindset. Battling this enemy will make us calm as well and we will be able to learn from it patiently.
“A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours. Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things-a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty.”
― John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog
Now you have started to consciously identify the problems related to your mindset. You have even started working on them. But the main question is, have you started implementing them in your daily life? Having a growth mindset would be able to give you the right direction, but it won’t pursue your dreams for you. You will have to stand up for yourself, implement what you have learned, once, twice, thrice, again and again until you truly develop the essence of a growth mindset.
“When you’re lying on your deathbed, one of the cool things to say is, ‘I really explored myself.’ This sense of urgency was instilled when my mom died. If you only go through life doing stuff that’s easy, shame on you.”
― Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success